What if one of the most important things a grandfather can do for his grandchildren is stop telling them what to do?

On this episode of The Cool Grandpa Podcast, I sit down with Perry Solomon, author of Grandpa Day, to talk about intentional grandfathering, following children’s interests, building grit, and helping grandchildren become confident, independent problem solvers.

Perry brings more than 20 years of grandfathering experience to the conversation. His approach is simple but powerful: be attentive, listen, provide opportunities, facilitate experiences, and let grandchildren make decisions for themselves.

Rather than trying to solve every problem for our grandchildren, Perry believes grandparents can play a different and perhaps more important role: helping grandchildren learn how to solve problems themselves.

Following Their Interests

One of the most memorable stories Perry shares involves his granddaughter discovering a chocolate fountain when she was just three years old.

Instead of dismissing it as a child’s passing fascination, Perry paid attention.

That small moment eventually developed into a genuine interest in chocolate. Perry encouraged her curiosity by taking her on tours of craft chocolatiers throughout the Los Angeles area. Those experiences introduced her to people who became mentors and helped her develop knowledge, confidence, and relationships.

Years later, that interest took them to a chocolate convention in Amsterdam.

At just 13, Perry’s granddaughter took notes, talked with people from around the world, learned about cacao science and genetics, and built relationships in the chocolate industry.

The lesson isn’t really about chocolate.

It’s about noticing what lights up a child’s curiosity and helping them explore it.

Grandparents as Facilitators

Perry describes the grandfather’s role as that of a facilitator rather than a decision-maker.

Instead of telling grandchildren what they should do, grandparents can:

• Pay attention to what interests them
• Offer choices
• Expose them to new experiences
• Encourage curiosity
• Introduce them to mentors
• Let them make decisions
• Provide support without taking over

Perry believes grandparents have a unique opportunity to provide something children often don’t get enough of: undivided one-on-one attention.

Even something as simple as sharing a meal can create an environment for meaningful conversations.

What Does Grit Really Mean?

Perry draws on psychologist Angela Duckworth’s work and defines grit as passion and perseverance toward long-term goals.

He uses his granddaughter’s commitment to Division I soccer as an example. Her dedication, discipline, and willingness to work toward a long-term goal demonstrate what grit can look like in real life.

But Perry doesn’t believe grandparents create grit by simply telling children to “work harder.”

Instead, grit develops when children discover something they care about and then experience the process of pursuing it.

Let Them Struggle

One of the most challenging ideas in the conversation is also one of the most important:

If they aren’t struggling, they aren’t learning.

Grandparents naturally want to help. We want to protect our grandchildren, make things easier, and keep them from experiencing disappointment.

But Perry argues that grandparents should resist doing things for grandchildren they can do themselves.

Rather than handing over the answer, ask questions.

Rather than solving the problem, help them think through possible solutions.

Rather than rescuing them immediately, give them the opportunity to struggle, learn, and eventually succeed.

Mistakes aren’t something we need to hide. They are opportunities to learn.

The Grandpa Who Helps Them See a Bigger World

Perry and his wife have grandchildren who live in a suburban community in New Jersey. They intentionally expose those grandchildren to experiences outside their normal environment.

One example is taking them into Manhattan using New Jersey Transit.

For some of the grandchildren, it was their first experience in New York City.

One grandson stepped out of Penn Station, looked around, and simply said, “Wow.”

Another saw the line of taxis and asked, “Can I drive?”

Those moments may seem small, but Perry believes experiences like these can have a lifelong impact.

A Grandpa Day Is Relational, Not Recreational

Perhaps the most important distinction Perry makes is between doing things with grandchildren and building relationships with them.

A trip to Disneyland doesn’t automatically create a relationship.

Buying gifts doesn’t create a relationship.

Taking grandchildren on expensive vacations doesn’t guarantee a connection.

Relationships are built through authenticity, attention, listening, trust, and being present.

Perry’s parting advice is simple:

Don’t be the problem solver. Be the facilitator.

Listen. Encourage. Provide options. Let grandchildren experience the world.

And most importantly, resist the urge to impose your own agenda.

Sometimes the best way to become a Cool Grandpa is simply to become genuinely interested in what your grandchild is already interested in.

About Perry Solomon

Perry Solomon is an entrepreneur and grandfather who has spent more than 20 years intentionally developing relationships with his grandchildren through shared experiences and what he calls “Grandpa Days.”

His book, Grandpa Day, explores how grandparents can help nurture smart, resilient, and gritty children while building meaningful relationships that can last a lifetime.

Learn more at GrandpaDay.com.

Links and Resources

Here is a link to Perry’s book, GrandpaDay: https://www.grandpaday.com/

Sign up for Grandparents Week at Grandparents Academy: GrandparentsAcademy.com

You can watch this episode on YouTube using this link: https://youtu.be/5rhKSY0Up1E. Please remember to like and subscribe to this show on YouTube.

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